Are you hungry?

I’ve been relying on food for comfort and friendship and it’s just not healthy. One Saturday morning I ate a pint of Häagen-Dazs strawberry ice cream, and as I’m writing this I want to go back for more. My neighborhood has so much temptation. It’s a convenience store in my building filled with candy, ice cream, chips and an assortment of groceries, Starbucks and Wild Fork are across the street. Starbucks has tempting sweets like lemon cake and a delicious chocolate chip cookie. Wild Fork has the best desserts, and a freezer filled with Häagen-Dazs ice cream and other frozen treats.

After eating a pint of ice cream for breakfast I ordered jalapeno poppers, cheese fries and mozzarella sticks with ranch dressing from Rosati’s. They messed up my order and instead of mozzarella sticks I got breaded mushrooms, and I don’t like mushrooms like that, so I only ate a few. I felt so sick after. I started to get a headache and just felt yukie although it was tasty going down. Despite how awful I felt I’m tempted to order again but I know I can’t.

This is not just about a desire to be thin this is about good health. It’s so important that I eat to nourish my body and stop these unhealthy binges that make me feel awful.

I ordered a pair of size twenty-seven R13 jeans but the pair I currently have is a size twenty-eight and is a perfect fit. I was worried the size twenty-seven would be too small, but it was the last pair, and it was half price. I had to return the jeans because they were huge. I couldn’t believe it. I thought this must be a mistake and looked at the size repeatedly. They were ex-boyfriend jeans, so they were made to be a bit big, but I could put them on without unbuttoning and unzipping them. I don’t know what size I wear now and may now have to start going to the store to try things on. I can’t allow these unhealthy binges to put back on any weight after keeping it off for two years.

I was watching this documentary on Netflix called Don’t Die and I found it to be very encouraging. It’s about this rich man Bryan Johnson who is living the healthiest life possible to maintain his youth and prolong his life. Haters think this guy is crazy and is not living life while trying to attain immortality. Have you ever seen My 600-lb Life and the way those people live, well this is the extreme opposite and my preferred way to live. I love discipline and think it’s so important. This documentary encourages discipline and the importance of sleep. For a time, I was obsessed with My 600-lb Life, and I swear it made me fatter. This guy’s life is extreme, and he has the money to finance it but there are certainly worst ways to live life. If it brings you joy and doesn’t hurt anyone else go for it.

I wish I had the time to completely focus on my health. I really want to eat healthy and shop at Whole Foods but eating healthy takes work. I’m watching With Love, Meghan on Netflix now hoping it will help me make better food choices. I decided I’m just going to eat dinner tonight and have liquids during the day. No more bad food choices!