Metamorphosis

So back in January 2021 I started a personal vlog to follow my weight loss journey. I only made four videos, but it’s beyond amazing how much I’ve changed. In the last video my weight was 222 lbs. and in the first video my goal weight was 144 lbs. My weight right now is 141.6 lbs. For so many years I wanted to lose weight and grow out my hair but just didn’t have the self-discipline. I still cut my hair off all the time although I tell myself I want to grow it out. At the time of that video my hair was short and super healthy, and my plan was not to cut it for a year. I should have set a goal to also not color it because I bleached it, and severely damaged it and had to cut it off. Had I stuck to my plan it would be down my back right now.

June 5, 2021 — This was supposed to be blonde highlights not white.

My goal today is to lose 24 more lbs. and not cut my hair. Let’s see where I am this time next year. I know I’ve evolved so much since those videos from 2021. I don’t even recognize that woman and can’t believe it was ever me. Today I am at my absolute best since April 2003. In 2003 I was at my peak and fell off drastically. I had a high paying job, I weighed 135 lbs. I owned a small house and drove a Saab. That was all pre-bipolar I diagnosis and a year before meeting my twin soul.

March 16, 2024

It blows my mind how much I’ve changed since 2021. I’m so proud of myself for deciding to be better. Since being diagnosed with bipolar in 2007 this is the best I’ve felt and looked. I feel like so many years were wasted but I suppose it was part of my journey. I’m nowhere near where I was financially in 2003 but I expect that to change soon.

I will say I had some very impressive goals in 2021 that I have yet to accomplish. There are two major goals that I can check off my list.

• Lose 70 lbs. ---- check

• Break free from a toxic relationship ---- check

I wrote in my journal that I was going to make my 50s extraordinary. I wrote I want to feel hungry all the time because when I’m hungry I know I’m losing weight. I started last week out that way, but it got so hot outside that I stocked up on popsicles and Drumstick cones. One Drumstick cone will crush my calorie goal for the day and that feeling of hunger will disappear. I must say it is easier to eat less when it’s hot outside.

If you want to focus your mind you might want to consume less food and enjoy silence. My weight loss came to a standstill this year. The year is half over and I’m only down 2 lbs. I should at least be losing 2 lbs. per month. Had I achieved that goal I could have been down 24 more lbs. by the end of the year and reached my goal weight of 119 lbs. I still have time to drop 12 lbs. Now that I know what it feels like to be hungry again I kind of missed this feeling. It’s like a high. This week I’m going to maintain that high.