Thriving

I would consider myself as thriving while living with bipolar. I’ve never had one suicide attempt. I’ve had many dark days where I didn’t want to exist but most of that was due to heartbreak and loneliness. I will say I’ve had more bright days than dark so I’m grateful for that.

I don’t know what I’d do without my sister, Darlene though. She’s my biggest supporter even if she doesn’t consider me to be her friend. She’s always pushing me to make friends and I do have a few people in my life who I consider friends they just live in different states. My second biggest supporter is my cousin Gay and I’m grateful that she doesn’t live too far away. I’m going to visit her at the end of the month.

I spend holidays like the 4th of July at home alone listening to music, searching for books I need, not necessarily want, to read. I’m finally putting a real dent in this book proposal, but it turns out I need to rewrite the chapter outlines, which completely sucks. I’m almost there though so don’t give up on me just yet. I’m still in the game and I came to win.

If you are or know someone living with mental illness, rest assured you can live a full life of joy and happiness despite the times our minds become our enemy. I hate being normal, but I currently have a very mundane life, however it keeps me sane. I’ve always been able to support myself through traditional work like it or not. I wake up at the same time every day, I eat the same food, do basically the same workout, eat dinner at the same time every night and retire to bed by 10. This is not the life I want but it’s what I need to remain mentally healthy.

Jet setting from place to place would not be good for my sanity but I long to mix things up a bit. I recently had a doctor’s appointment just for a physical and he asked what I do for fun, and I could only mention events, like my recent family reunions. I had one here in IL and another with the other side of the family in VA. I don’t do fun things often, but I get a little bit in from time to time. He said fun is important and I need more of it. A simple trip to Westfield Old Orchard, which is an outdoor mall is fun for me and I need to go there more often. Nothing like a little retail therapy.